Dear God,
You know my deepest fears
and feel my pain as I seep it
You saw me at my low tonight
crying as if your world were heathen
I can't tell you about my thoughts
they are so jumbled, I don't know them
but you can read them like a book
maybe since you understand, you'll show them
I am so afraid of this trial
and feel so alone without him here
and I don't know why you gave him to me
except to show your strength in fear
I am alone although surrounded
alone is all that seems to count,
but father your grace holds me astounded
if it's your will then let me drown.
You know I only want your glory,
people keep acting to me like tomorrow's promised
if I am skeptical, Lord, forgive me
But you never said we would pass this test.
and so I lean on you for tomorrow
I need you tonight more than I know
Dad, I am weak and cripple from my sorrow
not strong enough to face this foe.
I'm not looking to make life easy,
in face I'd like the opposite,
for awhile you've given me the perfect story
his safty, Lord, is my request...
for this only do I beseech you
for God, you know me through and through
even if you don't grant my heart it's joy
still i offer up my life to you.
either way I'm yours.
But Lord,
You know the wave that crashed tonight...
Please don't let it be our story
he has his oath and so he'll fight
whatever the consequence, Lord, Your glory...
please, Your glory.

You stand there waiting
at the end of a dark road
you're anticipating
the end of this trip home
its not that I'm sorry
no not that I'm sad
I just want you here now
but you're on the wrong side
I see the flaming torches
placed to guide my way
they are consumed by darkness
so what's ahead I can't say
I see you at the end there
I know you will wait
after all i'm left scared
I can trust only fate
well the darkness is calling
left with no clue whats safe
you said you'd catch if I'm falling
until then you'll wait...
...how promising.

funny story though, I haven't had coffee since 11:00 this morning. what is wrong with me? so I'm going to write to you. in prose of course.

I'm looking out at the city through my window
the dust in the air makes the lights glisten like stars
it's too cold for fireflys but underneith the surface lies
a glow of purple silver that I believe still lights my way
I've heard of shifting lands here and I think I believe
the rumors now, if time flys by but you stand still
they say you'll see how the night was killed
I'm not so sure i want to see it die just yet.

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they say that cupid's arrow broke
the day the lighting tore the spoke
of the wheel that steered my ship

guess that it hit the two of us
but I didn't feel the poison lust
they say I was protected then

venom of that arrow slow to spread
when from the end it lays its bed
into your innocent soul

however he got the point and shaft
so the venom bit to last
and he was changed and left whole

then slowly the bite consumed my heart
and the magic of this enstranged dart
took the organ forever

now sweet the taste of loves first kiss
two new beings of the world's bliss
a drink that faileth never

we two see with children's eyes
the dart that lead to our demise
for now we are immortalized
the solid ground now cannot tether

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is nighttime true my only friend
when I cannot but comprehend
the joys of tripping with the trend
and all grievences now amend
I think that perhaps I must be young
or falling over satin tongue
if ever were there praises sung
they were to the childhood to which i clung
and if you be a friend lets say
then come again another day
and I will leave my masqurade
offer you an umbrella, your face to shade
and call you simply, life.
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I think the best part of december
not to say that it's all bad
but the best part is we've passed november
and surely that will make us glad.

i think the worst part of an owl
(in truth it's hard because I love them so)
but they refuse to sit beside my tower
and I am angry at this woe

I think the best part of an ant
(honestly I like them little)
is the fact that they will not recant
at least they stick to their fiddle

I think the worst part of a friendship
(not that much bad can come from it)
is that you must help them when they trip
and often they despise you for holding the candle that keeps their wandering path lit.

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ciao